We all want to be respected by our peers.
But in a world full of fakes, how can we tell if those around us genuinely respect us or are just trying to keep us sweet?
Understanding how someone really views you can be challenging. But luckily, several indicators can help you assess how much your co-workers, friends, or anyone else respects you.
If you notice these nine signs when people interact with you, there’s a good chance you’re highly admired!
1) They ask for your opinion
As this Harvard Business Review found, asking someone for their opinion is a powerful way to show you respect them.
Think about it.
If you want someone’s opinion on your outfit choice, who would you ask? The colleague who talks about everyone behind their back or a trusted friend?
So, if you find people are always seeking your opinions on things that have nothing to do with you, this is a huge sign you’re a highly respected person.
And because they respect your opinion on small things, they will also seek you out when they need advice on something bigger…
2) They come to you for advice
When people respect you, they trust your judgment and integrity.
They may seek your advice about a situation they know you have been in. Or they might ask you about something you have no experience in but trust you would make the right decision if you were in their shoes.
Highly respected people find that people seek advice from them in all areas of life.
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- A colleague may ask for advice at work.
- A friend may ask for words of wisdom regarding their love life.
- A family member may confide in you about their financial struggles.
So, if others confide in you and rely on your word, it indicates a high level of respect. It shows they believe you would know the right thing to do if you were in their situation.
It also suggests you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and prioritized self-growth, which warrants the respect of others.
And because they respect you so much, they are sure to give as well as take, which is why you will also notice the following sign…
3) People are always willing to help you
When people only want to be around you to gain something for you, you can be sure these people will disappear when you need help.
However, when people stay around you because they respect you, they will stand by you no matter what.
Highly respected individuals can easily find help. Everyone in their circle is more than willing to offer support during both the good and bad times.
And when they agree to do a favor for you, they will stay true to their word. This is why you’ll also notice the following…
4) They don’t cancel on you last minute
When people respect you, they don’t offer to do something and then leave you hanging. Neither do they arrange to meet and then cancel at the last minute.
No, they respect your time.
Now, of course, sometimes emergencies happen, or things come up. So, I’m not saying highly respected people NEVER get canceled on.
But instead, these situations are scarce.
If you’re highly respected, you don’t have to deal with those flaky friends who are full of excuses.
Instead, the people around you will make an effort not to waste your time, which brings me to sign number five…
5) They don’t show up late to meet you
When someone respects you, they are honored to be in your presence. They are grateful that you have made time for them, and they show this by always being on time.
They also know how busy you are and don’t want to keep you waiting.
This is a stark contrast to someone who doesn’t respect you.
In this case, the other person doesn’t think twice about keeping you waiting. Everything is on their terms, and they expect you to work around their schedule and wait for them.
6) They don’t try to violate your boundaries
Being habitually late is one sign that someone doesn’t respect your boundaries.
For example, let’s say someone wants to propose an idea to you. You have a super busy day, so you explain that you only have 15 minutes free to talk to them.
However, they show up 10 minutes late, completely ignoring the time limit you gave them.
Other ways people can push your boundaries are:
- Using manipulative techniques to get you to agree to something you’ve already said no to.
- Disrespecting your space and privacy, such as entering your office without being invited in or showing up at your house unannounced.
- Contacting you during the hours you have stated you are unavailable.
In a 2007 study published in the Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, three psychologists explored why people fail to respect the personal boundaries of their colleagues and employees.
Their findings show that people ignore personal boundaries to assert their power or control over the other person. In other words, they see themselves as better than you and look down on you.
However, when people respect you, they see you as equal and, in many cases, look up to you.
7) They pay close attention to what you say
People who respect you will listen when you speak, giving you their full attention and engaging in the conversation.
When you’re respected, it never feels like you’re talking to a wall or fighting to get the attention of someone glued to their smartphone.
Instead, they actively listen to you. While many people listen to others purely to respond, when someone respects you, they want to understand you fully. This is why you will notice them:
- Looking you in the eyes
- Not being distracted by their phone or something else
- Repeating what you say for confirmation
- Asking open-ended questions
- Using non-verbal listening cues like nodding
8) You notice them mirroring you
One subtle sign that people think highly of you can be found in their body language and choice of words.
Do you notice people copy your phrases or repeat words you’ve just used?
Do you ever see your peers sitting or standing in the same way as you during your conversations?
Or do you feel like your yawns are contagious, that every time you yawn, the person next to you does?
These are all classic signs of social mirroring, a phenomenon where we unconsciously mimic the actions of others.
Italian neurophysiologist Dr. Rizzolatti identified the cause of this, which is the stimulation of specific neurons in our brain, known as mirror neurons.
However, what’s interesting about social mirroring is that many experts believe it is a sign of trust.
This means we only mirror those who we trust and respect.
So even if someone doesn’t want to show they respect you, this is a secret way you can tell they see you highly!
9) They seem generally happy for you when you win
Another not-so-obvious way to tell if someone truly respects you is to see how they react when you share your achievements and wins.
Someone who respects you highly will appear genuinely pleased for you and won’t talk bad about you behind your back.
If they have something negative to say, they will tell you to your face.
They will preserve your dignity by publicly praising your achievements and providing constructive criticism privately.
However, if someone pretends to like and respect you, you’ll likely sense some envy when you share your wins. This will be confirmed when you hear through the grapevine that they have been gossiping about you.
Final thoughts
Do you regularly notice these nine things? Then, congratulations, as this shows you’re already highly respected by your peers!
If you don’t see any of these signs in the people you associate with, don’t fret. Instead, ask yourself this:
“Do I respect others?”
Respect is a two-way street, so getting others to respect you starts with you. Rather than demanding respect from those around you, become more aware of your behavior.
Do you come across as too assertive, arrogant, or ungrateful? These negative traits can repel the respect of others faster than lightning and make you appear untrustworthy.
In contrast, you could lack self-confidence or undervalue yourself, which also keeps respect out of reach.
So speak positively and project confidence, but don’t boast or demand attention. Think about what you say before you open your mouth, and listen attentively when others speak.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into place
It may sound conceited or narcissistic to focus on loving yourself first. But it’s not.
The point isn’t to believe you’re better than others or to accept things about yourself that you really do need to change.
It’s about developing a healthy and nurturing relationship with… you!
Loving yourself is about committing to who you are, understanding the many different nuances to your identity, and showing yourself a level of care and intimacy that we usually reserve for other people.
Unfortunately, we’re not taught how to love ourselves from an early age. And we end up caring about what others think of us rather than focusing on what we need at a more fundamental level.
Source – Ideapod.com
